okeh. i already predict this kind of things would happen to me. hmm. i got 3A+, 3A and 3B+. hahah. yeah i know. spm is not everything.

but if we scored in spm we will have bigger opportunity to continue our studies at a better place. haha. idk what will i do now.

btw. thanks Allah. i know. you save me for the best afterwards. and i trust you. many things had happen to me.

and when each of that things happen, i realize how much you love me that you always gave me what i want. and how many times you try to test me but in the end you still help me to succeed.

each time when you're trying to test me before, i always ask myself why do you keep treating me like you didn't even like me. but when time goes by, i learn that every single things you done to me is just for my own good.

forgives me o Allah. after this, i swear, i'll never thing or talk bad things about you like that again. insyallah. as your slave, i have no right to think like that.

i hope o Allah, that you'll gave me a brighter future than i expected. so that i can support my family and 'deen' someday. aamiin. jane. :)

oh no. oh no. oh no. its coming. its finally coming. for all these years i've been waiting. at last. it nearly come. oh god. i'm so frighten and anxious. what will happen to me if something bad shows up afterward?

who? when? what the hell are you saying about? who's coming?

oh you. what date is today? 17 march right? it almost 21 march. and on 21 march spm results will be officially released, all over Malaysia! and its include my result as well.

oh. chill babe. i'm sure you'll do great.

you said that because you and i are the same person. -.- anyway. yeah. i really felt scared right now. i donno what will be the risk if i get bad result for my spm to achieve my dreams. hmm.

o Allah. i hope you'll accept my prayer. i hope you'll gives me straight A if that is the best for me. aamiin. i trust Allah. if you're a muslim, you should, i mean must too.

i want to be a doctor. an eye specialist. just saying. :) jane

(many people likes my status. i'm not forever alone)

the day i got my driving license from my driving teacher. i show it proudly to my mom saying that at last i got my license.

i told my mom that dad promise me to gives his car to me. his rexton. my mom suddenly keep her words from spilling out. her face shows that she was thinking about something.



"i think you should ask your dad to buy you a 2nd hand car and just sell the rexton if your father didn't want to use it again, dear arief. maybe wira or saga."

"and why is that. you didn't like the fact that i'm gonna use that big car. you worry to much mom"

"not that what i meant. if you use a car like saga or wira, you wouldn't get any problem to get use driving a car. rexton is too big for a beginner driver. and i dont think that you will get ease by driving a car as big as rexton"

"naa. i reject that opinion mom. i have my reason why i accepted that rexton when dad told me that he gonna gave it to me"

"n what is that?"

"its not because i'll drive a big car so i can show off to my friends. it is because dad told me that he want to give his rexton because of some reasons."

"he told me that when i was a child. back then, when we have a Mercedes parked in our porch. i told him that i really like that car because we can open the upper part of the car."

(i dont know how to say it. but it looks like this)

"so he said that rexton can also do the same thing. then he continue his words. he said that its been more than 8 years rexton brought him everywhere to find his source of sustenance. and he really gets a great fortune."

"he said he was hoping if i use rexton, i'll found the same great source of sustenance just like him so i can live my life wealthy and always happy."

"oh okay. suit yourself arief. i was just giving my opinion. :)"

haa. the conclusion is. i really want to use rexton not because i want to show off to everyone that i'm using a big car.

but i want to show them rexton proves that my father loves me, care about me. and the most important is. he always think about me and my future.

thanks dad. even tho you dont know how to show it. i know. you really loves your family. and i really appreciate it dad. truly, from one of your son. jane~

p/s : some of the scene did not really happen

Sabda Nabi S.A.W :

“Janganlah mencabut uban kerana uban adalah cahaya pada hari kiamat nanti. Siapa saja yang beruban dalam Islam walaupun sehelai, maka dengan uban itu akan dicatat baginya satu kebaikan, dengan uban itu akan dihapuskan satu kesalahan, juga dengannya akan ditinggikan satu darjat.”

(HR. Ibnu Hibban dalam Shahihnya)



look at this boy, his name is hitsugaya toshirou and he's one of the character in bleach manga.

even tho he's only a kid, he got a lot of uban on his head and he didn't feel ashamed. he also didn't give a damn if someone condemn about his hair.

if this boy can survive in the world with a lot of uban. why can't us? why do we sebok2 nk cabut uban? haha. jane. :D

currently i dont hv any interest to updating my blog. i dont know why. so dont ask.

but no worries. if i had something to tell or something to write or something that i think i must tell the world, i will post it.

n after that, i will surely inform you guys. even tho i'm not sure whether this place hv a faithful reader or not. haha. thanks for reading my blog. till next time. jane. :)

and oh yeah. it's march already. and this means results will coming up soon ! oh Allah. please make them be great. amin.

3 june 1994, a boy was fated to be born on that day. his beloved parents named him Ariff hoping that someday their son will rule the world with his intelligence and will be skills-full in anything .



10++ years later. his parents wish seems like coming true. many things that arif had been through. laughter, sadness, and enjoyment. he met many person in his life. and saw many girls in his eyes.

when he reach 16, he started to play rugby. and yeah. his parents wish coming true again. even tho he only play it in awhile, he already mastered all the skills to play rugby.

when we play rugby, he always give a try and score. every guy on earth jealous on his talent. and he will reply to them, "sape suruh tak star! wakakkaka"




in high school, many young girls fall in love with him because of his macho-ness. kalah justin bieber. almost everyday, someone will send him a gift.

but only one girl that successfully catch his heart. the one and only. ****. arif will be mad at me if i wrote her name. seriously. nnti dia kate, "delete do".



btw, this is rasyid. he's not gay. but he really likes arep. i don't know why. sorry for the grammar error. jane. :)

warning :

ini ialah post meluahkan perasaan. so saya akan tules dalam dwibahase. sbb dwibahase akan membuatkan sy lebeh selesa melemparkan segala idea yang ade dalam otak ini. n if you read closely to the title, you can tell that this post is rated : too offensive. so sesape yg terase. padan muke hang! sape makan cili die terase pedas. ade syeikh cakap (lupe name die) jadikan yg baik tauladan dan jadikan buruk pengajaran. same goes to this post okeh!




firstly read the sentences i wrote in this picture. what with the vulgar word? do i feel mad at someone? yes i do! i feel really mad back then. and why? here goes. i'm gonna tell you da story clean and clear.

15 february 2012, i had my first driving test. cikgu aku sehari sebelum test ade cakap kat aku. "arief nak soklan senang ke susah?" "ade lain2 soklan ke?" "mestilaa ade. tpi kalo nk soklan senang kene bersertakan 'angpow'. arief faham tak?" "hmm. macam faham. bukan ayah da cakap pasal ni ke dulu?" "yelaa ayah nk igtkan arief" "rasenye macam tknk. takot tak berkat." "ok. ayah tak pakse. kamu tawakal eh kat Allah"

btw, i called him 'ayah' because dia n isteri dia penah jage aku time kecik2. so, unofficially diorang family angkat aku.

tibanya hari test driving. Alhamdulillah. dalam track aku lulus. so why do i mad? time jalan raye lak something wrong. ok. name aku kene panggil. aku pegi amek borang. then aku tggu kat kete yg org tu cakap.

tggu punye tggu. ade acik cott(pekerja situ) suruh aku tggu dalam. aku masok lah. enjin da sedia ada start. aku tggu laa acik jpj. die masok. muke macam bekas gengster. aku bagi salam. then die cakap kat aku.

"memandangkan enjin dah start. sy akan anggap awak dah start kan dulu." "wth? die mmg dah start sendiri lah" "kenape kamu tk tutup?" "mane saye tahu kene tutup. acik cott tu kate tggu diam2 kat dalam neh" pastu die pangkah satu box paleng atas skali kat borang tuh depan aku.

(macam ni perasaan aku time tuh)

die suruh start. aku ngan bengang yg amat tapi terpakse bersabar memulekan perkara2 yg perlu dibuat. dah habes cek sume, die suruh jalan. aku jalan. smpai kat pintu pagar, ade line puteh. aku berhenti.tarik handbreak, free gear. itu yg cikgu aku ajar. cikgu aku cakap lagi. kene kedepan kan sikit kete. supaya nmpk jelas.

aku buat. lepas tkde kete aku teros jalan. pstu acik tu suruh aku berhenti tepi jalan. n die kate "adek Gagal Serta Merta" "wtf!? kenape? ape salah sy? baru start kot!" "kamu tak tarik handbreak kali ke2" "cikgu sy tk ajar cmtu pon. cikgu kate skali jek." "cikgu kamu salah. kamu keluar. biar sy bawak"

time nk tukar tmpat duduk tu aku mencarut perlahan. malangnye die dgr. "kenape kamu nk maki2 saye? kamu pk sy saje2 nk gagal kan kamu? saya adil blablabla" tu je aku dgr. aku malas nk pndg die.

smpi kat cott tu balek. time nk keluar kereta aku ckap "terima kasih banyak2 yaa TUAN sbb byk membantu"

aku dengan mood yg amat menakutkan kanak2 kecil, straight jmpe cikgu aku n tanye aku salah ke. die jawab, "hahahah! ayah da cakap. diorang ni HANTU. pk duet je. senanye nk tarik handbreak kali ke2 ok tak tarik pon ok. asalkan kamu da tarik sebelom line puteh."

"tpi die cakap die adil bagai?" "arief, pencuri mane nk ngaku die jahat? tkyah cakap laa. polis, tentera, kastam, jpj. sume golongan tuh men rasuah. yes not all. but most!"

"so cane ngan sy?" "kuase kat tgn diorang rief. ayah tak leh buat ppe. bile die tahu kamu anak org kaye, die akan teros target kamu. igt tak yg ayah tanye nk bayar tak an? tu arahan diorang. kalo ayah tak b tau ayah yg akan kene sbb diorang atas ayah. akak kamu pon senanye ayah ade b tau pasal neh gak. sbb tu die gagal gak kali pertama. tpi kamu jgn rsau. selalunye die tkkan kene kan org lebeh 2 kali."

mule2 aku mmg teros mencarut di dalam hati. tk tahan sgt. duet mak bapak aku kot. kau pk snang diorang crik duet halal? diorang bertungkus-lumus carik duet n aku habeskan cmtu jek.
ramai org kate, "kau boleh laa. anak org kaye. ulang bape kali pon boleh."

senang kau cakap? dulu diorang tggl kat kg laa der. kg yg smpi tandas kat luar nun jauh dekat tgh padang. bapak aku dulu tolong nenek aku jual goreng pisang. n aku skang habeskan cmtu jek duet yg diorang susah2 dapat?

aku memohon kepada mu ya Allah. jauhilah aku dan keluargaku drpd dengki dan penindasan manusia terhadap kami. aminn. n yeah. i realize that this post full with colors. n for that i'm sorry. n sorry for all the bad words i wrote. :)

jane.

(my unsatisfied face)